I realize after this past full week of work since the holidays have gone, that i am truly tired of stressing out over dumb stuff. Ok, so there are people that annoy me, i hate my job sometimes and wish i had another one i enjoyed everyday, i wish i had a boyfriend and didn't have to go through the awkward stage that is dating, and i wish i had a love of myself and didn't fear what i didn't know or experience. Whew, that's just a few things...but, i do digress to this song that pretty much summed up how i feel about me being me when i sometimes don't even realize how funny and sad and foolish i can be. Thank you Emelie Sand.
http://youtu.be/0OHX_PA25Ok
Saturday, January 12, 2013
Inspired
As i woke up this morning, i felt compelled to read a book in the Bible. The book of Ecclesiastes and Ephesians. Ecclesiastes, because i remember what my sister had brought up to me during a phone conversation about things i was experiencing and frustrated with. The Ephesians, simply because i do like reading it and it was only six chapters, my favorite being the tools that Christians need for survival against the evils of the world. As i began Ecclesiastes, i felt completely humbled as i absorbed the first chapter. Everything in life is in its proper place, and nothing i do or any of us in the world can do to stop it or speed it up. Time is its own person that does its own thing. Everything at the end of most of the verses in the chapters refer to the passions and ambitions of life as "grasping of the wind". We will never truly know what it is in life we are striving for, other than to be better and stronger and more fulfilled than ever before. Everyday we are a work in progress, and i have to consider myself one of those who are just trying to participate in life the best we can. Secretly, God knows and i know, i could be walking in my truth a lot easier if i would trust that He created me to be the very best i can be. He knows my heart and he knows my flaws, and he knows i hurt and have hurt and in the end, i am just a part of the flow of life. I am no better or worse than i was ten years ago or when i was a child, and that is all in God's plan regardless. In Ecclesiates 1:9, the last verse states: "There is nothing new under the sun", which proves that all the ups and downs in life aren't original, it's all a part of the circle of life. I need to enjoy life more in the meantime, instead of being so damn deep all the time. Life is what it is no matter what i do, mankind since Adam and Eve was doomed to have tribulation and sorrow, but the goal of all humankind is to remember and resemble God's love and do good to themselves and others,and THATS IT. Seems easy enough, but our ego is the only thing that prevents us from going with the plan. If i knew what was truly best for my life, i would be doing it and i would be filled with joy as i did it. In the meantime, i am constantly perplexed and intrigued by the ways of the world. In therapy, i would always tell my counselor i felt like i was missing the big secret that everyone else knew, and all i was missing out on was the enjoyment of life. The gift of life is precious, and i need to embrace it more, and not be bogged down with worry, anxiety and discouragement. It wastes time, and time is running on while i stand still and think too hard all by myself. Ecclesiastes chapter 8 verse 15 says:
"So i commend enjoyment, because a man has nothing better under the sun than to eat, drink, and be merry; for this will remain with him in his labor all the days of his life which God gives him under the sun"
Today, i realized that i needed to get back to letting out my thoughts again. Not just because it's a New Year, but because in order to continue growing in my new self i have to be okay with whatever i put out on my page. It is what i feel at this time, and reading both Ecclesiastes and Ephesians today made me realize why i do love to read Scripture from time to time. Sometimes hearing the words and the phrasing gives me a feeling of strength and rejuvenation from within. This makes me appreciate why i do journal and blog. When i can't deal with certain things in life, i talk it out, then maybe write it down, then pray for strength and then i read somthing inspirational. It all gives me more of a purpose to go on with the day, when in the past i may have done or said or handled it not too well. This gave me a feeling of serence calm, and i probabley just needed to simply just be still for that moment. For this moment, i am truly grateful.
"So i commend enjoyment, because a man has nothing better under the sun than to eat, drink, and be merry; for this will remain with him in his labor all the days of his life which God gives him under the sun"
Today, i realized that i needed to get back to letting out my thoughts again. Not just because it's a New Year, but because in order to continue growing in my new self i have to be okay with whatever i put out on my page. It is what i feel at this time, and reading both Ecclesiastes and Ephesians today made me realize why i do love to read Scripture from time to time. Sometimes hearing the words and the phrasing gives me a feeling of strength and rejuvenation from within. This makes me appreciate why i do journal and blog. When i can't deal with certain things in life, i talk it out, then maybe write it down, then pray for strength and then i read somthing inspirational. It all gives me more of a purpose to go on with the day, when in the past i may have done or said or handled it not too well. This gave me a feeling of serence calm, and i probabley just needed to simply just be still for that moment. For this moment, i am truly grateful.
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